Green Sexy

A "Green Porno"?

It seems like everything else has gone green these days---why not porno? Now, does this mean that we have porno stars using biodegradable condoms and eco-friendly lube?  Well, not exactly.  You see, Isabella Rossellini, former Lancome model and star of the ultra-sexually-charged movie Blue Velvet, has changed her focus from human desire and sexuality to that of the insect and animal world.  She has created a series of internet shorts on animal sexuality entitled Green Porno that can be viewed on Sundance Channel's website.  Season one focused on the sexuality of insects, while her new season two focuses on sea creatures and their sexual exploits.  The costumes and props she uses on the show are purposely amateurish and child-like, as the aim of the show is to amuse and inform, rather than to arouse. 

So, if you're looking for a good laugh and have a super short attention span, then get turned on to Rossellini's Green Porno, and you'll never see "green" the same way again!  Now, that's Green-Sexy!

Are Daddy-Long-Legs Spiders or What?

The other day I was driving to work and upon peering up at the visor, I saw the spindly legs of a Daddy-Long-Legs creep over the edge.  Let's just say that I'm not, nor have ever been crazy about these creatures---I mean, they have those long, impossibly thin, constantly probing legs, and that tiny football body---they're just plain freaky!  Well, I spent the whole half-hour drive blowing puffs of air at this creature every time it tried to venture onto my side of the visor, nearly causing an accident a couple of times.

Now, I've heard before that Daddy-Long-Legs, otherwise known as Harvestmen, are not spiders at all.   Well, they are arachnids (in the order Opiliones), but they have only one body segment (the football!), whereas spiders have two.  According to the June 2007 issue of the New York State Conservationist, Harvestmen "are omnivores that hunt small insects, scavenge on decaying material, or feed on plant juices.  They do not have venom, but can produce a foul smelling scent."   Also, unlike spiders, Harvestmen have no silk glands.   There's this urban legend that the Harvestman is one of the most venomous spiders in the world and could easily kill a man, but their fangs can't penetrate human skin.  Well, they have no venom, so that's phooey. Harvestmen are often times confused with the Cellar Spider, which are also referred to as Daddy-Long-Legs, but Cellar Spiders live in your house and are traditional spiders.  If you've ever seen the recently disembodied legs of a Harvestman, you'll notice a good amount of post-mortem twitching.  It's theorized that the twitching keeps the attention of a predator so that the remainder of the Harvestman can escape.  Some species of Harvestmen have legs that will twitch for up to an hour after being plucked from their bodies!  Yuck!  Another disturbing aspect to the Harvestman is the fact that multitudes of Harvestmen like to congregate together to have a little harvest festival or something, and form a huge pulsating mass of legs and beady little bodies! 

So what did I do with the Harvestman who tormented me on my ride to work?  What I always do with them:  I grabbed it by one of its legs and flung it as far away from me as I could.  I may dislike these creatures, but I will not kill them.  The Harvestman lives on to harvest another day!